Miracle Story #19 (Part 2 of 2)

“Now first of all, I am extremely high maintenance. And I have a lot of energy all the time, so I go from one thought to the next thought, and then back to the other one.

That’s just how I work.

So I’m anxious all the time.

I know that I’m anxious all the time, so for the first time in my life to have this feeling of, ‘Yeah we’re sixty hams short. It’ll work out.’

So I disappeared out to the parking lot and sat in my car. I don’t like to pray in public because I think it brings attention to the person more so than it does to God, so I don’t really like to do that.

I know other people do and I’m okay that they want to do that, but I am just one that doesn’t, that’s all. So I was praying in my car and just thanking God for the outpouring of help that I had already received.

It was just amazing to me.

Do you know how many cans it takes to make sure that there are 446 pies? And how many cans it takes to make sure that 1,505 people can eat green bean casserole?

And stuffing?

I was like, 'If this is what we have, then this is what we have. We need to be thankful for what we have. God knows who needs that food and if He doesn’t think that we need those 60 hams, then we are going to accept it and praise Him anyways.'

It was 10 o’clock at night and I was pretty for sure that I wasn’t going to have sixty additional pieces of meat.

I didn’t get on Facebook.

I didn’t start messaging people.

I didn’t start making phone calls.

I left it like it was.

So the next morning at like 7 o’clock in the morning, I got a message from First Baptist Church saying, “Oh hey, we forgot to tell you that we have 27 turkeys that we got delivered to us. Could Salvation Army use those?”

And I was just like, “Oh yes we will!”

Thank you Jesus! (laughs)

Distribution was at the first Baptist Church.

So then I was thinking, ‘Okay Lord, thirty more.’

I had these Walmart gift cards that were given to me over Christmas time, from people who wanted to donate to us. I had been holding onto those because, like I said earlier, I had 25-30 families that were wanting us to help them that weren’t on the original sign-up.

So I knew I was going to have a third distribution if I had enough. And those were kind of my 'maybes'.

My thinking was, I don’t have thirty additional pieces of meat but I have gift cards.

I had no idea the amount on them but I was going to use whatever was on the cards to buy as much of the additional meat as I could.

So I went to Walmart with my husband and my son and we were racing against the clock because I had to be down in Ark City, which is about twenty minutes away from Winfield, before 9:00 AM preferably, since that’s when the distribution started.

My husband asked me, “Well how much is on the gift cards?”

“Well I don’t know. Whatever is not on there, we’ll just figure out a way.”

Okay, now I’m sure we looked like idiots rushing through Walmart with our baskets just throwing meat in the cart, counting it out as we were going. But we got all of what we wanted and there was one ham left in the case.

And I said, “Oh thank goodness we didn’t have to take them all. Now if somebody is looking for a ham today they won’t be having to go to the Salvation Army.” (laughs)

So we ran up to the check-out and were recounting the hams and I was having this constant conversation in my head…

‘I know that I cannot personally afford this Lord.’

And He just clear-as-day says to me, “Have faith.”

‘Okay.’

And I thought that meant that I was going to shell out money and that He was going to take care of me some other way down the road, and that it was going to all work out.

So the cashier started ringing it up and I got out the cards and she was like, “Do you know how much is on these cards?”

“No, I’m sorry I don’t.”

And she looked at me like I had ten heads. I explained to her that I had distribution in just a few minutes and asked if she could just swipe them and figure it out as we went.

So she started swiping and it was like $10 here and $10 there, and a couple of larger ones.

I had eight total.

And by the time we got to the bottom of it, $6.26 is all that was owed still.

And my husband goes, “She’s going to cry.”

And I did.

I was standing there in Walmart, in public, crying like a baby.

So unbelievably grateful.

My son is seventeen and he was completely embarrassed that I was losing it in Walmart. And then the cashier became overly emotional about it too.

And Seth was going, “Okay we have to go. We have to go.”

So by the time we got there for the distribution, the same church that I told you earlier had originally planned on doing the hams and then couldn’t do the hams, showed up with thirty hams.

Which this meant that I had thirty additional hams.

And I had thirty families on my overflow list.

So every single family that needed help was getting exactly what they needed.

It was so cool.

So it was really awesome to be able to shoot that text message to my helper from the night before, who at 10:00 PM was going, “This is ridiculous. How are you going to come up with these sixty pieces of meat?”

I mean she was freaking out.

It was so awesome to be able to send her a message that next morning that said, “We have everything that we need. God has provided.”

By 8:00 AM, not only did God give me what I needed for that day, He gave me what I needed to make sure that everybody who came to me seeking help received what they needed.

That’s God.

That’s what we do.

That’s the business we’re in.

And I love it.

You know how something clicks in your head and then later you back go back and you’re like…wow...?

Well here’s something really cool about 6.26.

When I was in middle school my parents sent me to a Christian school. And one of the things that we had to do as part of the curriculum was to memorize Scripture verses.

And then we had to do a recitation in front of the whole church. It was pivotal for me because I was only 12 years old, and it was scary to stand up in front of everyone and do that.

Well the whole chapter that I had to memorize specifically was Matthew, Chapter 6.

So that’s how I knew exactly what 6.26 meant…because I had memorized Matthew 6 when I was twelve years old.

So what is cool about that is that at twelve years old, He knew that when I was 40, I was going to need that. (crying)

And even though there were moments in my life when I doubted Him…when I was angry with him…when our relationship was more of me being bitter…

For Him to show me that…

‘I’ve been with you every step of the way.’

And it was more than just about what Matthew 6:26 says…

‘The birds…I feed the birds. I’m going to feed you. Why worry about what you wear or what you eat? Your treasures are in heaven, not here.’

And I knew that.

It was so much more than just the Salvation Army and getting everything that we needed and Him pulling through…if I can say that even…because that was huge.

It was so much more for me personally because it really was Him saying, ‘You had to memorize that Scripture for today.’

You know how many years ago that was?

I’m old. (laughs)

And then to be able to share that as a testimony…

And I’m heartbroken for people.

Because I know what it’s like to be in that moment in your life where you’re like, I cannot even figure out why this is happening.

And to be in that dark, lonely place…

I really don’t think I would be sitting here having this conversation with you if I didn’t have a relationship with Christ when I was going through what I went through.

I’m not even sure if I would be sitting here with you having this conversation if I didn’t have my children keeping me grounded in this world, knowing that they needed me.

Because it is being in poverty and going hungry…the single most darkest, isolated thing.

So when I am sitting down with somebody, it is not about the fact that I can maybe give them something to eat, or I can give them some toilet paper, or maybe I can help them with their utility bill or rent or whatever it is.

It’s really about giving.

No matter how small it is.

No matter if it’s just a Christmas basket full of food for that once a year.

No matter if it is just a couple of gifts for their kids.

It is a light.

It might be a small light, but it’s a light.

And it’s warm.

And it comes with Jesus’ name on it.

And if you don’t have Him in your life and you’re suffering, then you will drown. And you will buy into the lies that are out there on the street.

And there are so many people that are just drowning in their life.

Drowning in it.

They come to me and…

One of my favorite stories, well I have so many, but she’s one of my favorites…

She came to me and she needed rent assistance. Her daughter’s father was incarcerated and so it was just her and her little girl.

They were already living in low-income housing and she had lost her job and she was on the verge of being evicted.

When she came to me she was very fixated on, ‘I’m going to be evicted. And I don’t have anywhere to go. And I don’t know what to do. And I have this child. And my family won’t help, etc. etc.’

I sat and I just listened to her talk.

Sometimes they just want somebody to talk to, so I just sat there and I listened.

And I felt the Holy Spirit just come over me and every time I do, I can’t not cry.

I’m horrible at this job because all I do is cry. (laughs)

So she was sitting there and I looked at her.

Now she was not upset, she was just very much matter-of-fact, ‘This is what I need and I don’t know what I’m going to do.’

So she was really in problem-solving mode.

I just looked at her and it just came out of my mouth.

I said to her, “You’ve got to give it over. Right now. God has brought you to this. But you have got to give it over.”

And so we prayed.

And she cried.

And I cried.

And it was something simple.

Now how do you give it over?

You’ve got to believe, number one, that there is a way.

And number two, that it starts with Jesus.

I remember telling her something to the effect of, “He’s not going to just build you a house and put some flowers out front. But we will find a way. And you continually stressing about it and rolling it over and over in your head, when this is what you have…These are resources that you have that are like nothing, and you can’t make nothing all of a sudden fix this real problem that you have. So let’s just give it up to Him.”

So she hung out with me for a little bit and we went through some things and I told her that we would help her. And we found some other resources to kind of get things going there.

I went and talked to her landlord and we got some of those things figured out.

Now she had been without a job for months and months, and she had been looking everywhere and she hadn’t found anything.

And that’s the most awful feeling...when you can’t find work. It’s horrible.

You start feeling like nobody wants you.

Rejection.

It’s horrible.

And I completely understood her situation.

So she finally left my office, but then I got a text message from her fifteen minutes later.

“You are not going to believe this. Not only did I get one job offer, but I got two. And now I get to pick which one I want!”

I told her I needed to use her story.

“Can I use your story?”

Absolutely.

And she just went on and on about how much of a blessing it was to have me and her cross paths and things like that, but it is not me.

I am just being obedient.

In fact, somebody had said something to my husband like, “Your wife is so amazing.”

And he said, “I think she’s amazing, but if you tell her that she’s not going to accept it. She’s going to tell you that it’s all God.”

And I’m like, finally.

I finally have somebody else singing the same song. (laughs)

It’s not like every day I wake up just happy and roses.

We have a lot of challenges ahead of us.

Me personally.

The Salvation Army in general.

But to be a part of a Christian-based organization and do something in my life that is specific to His will, His plan..

You know, growing up in a Christian household, a very strict Christian household, I read a lot of Scripture.

But it didn’t really apply to me.

And I don’t know if that’s because I was too young, or if my focus was on something completely different, or what it was.

But it didn’t really click until I took on this position.

And I think that that is because specifically Jesus tells us to take care of the poor, the needy.

To take care of them.

To feed them.

To clothe them.

That’s what He says we have to do.

There is a scripture that says faith without works is dead. How can we say we are faithful if we’re not working?

Does that mean that works get us into heaven?

Absolutely not.

Our faith…that we’ve accepted Jesus and that He died on the cross for our sins…that’s what gets us to heaven.

But a faithful person has works behind them.

And He says we’re supposed to give as far as we can go, we’re supposed to work until it hurts…and all of this in His name and all of this for His kingdom.

And being here in this position just completely and totally magnifies that particular teaching in the Bible.

Because it is hard work.

I never get to dress up and look fancy anymore. (laughs)

I’m so thankful that we’re having this conversation because I put on makeup and everything. (laughs)

But I don’t get to go to these fancy business meetings and to do these things that I used to do before, because I can’t sit down with somebody and talk to them about them being destitute and needing toilet paper if I am looking like I’m there for an interview process.

And it took me several months to figure that out.

You know?

I was trying to be respectful of my position and so I was wearing what somebody would think that the coordinator of the county would wear.

But what was happening is that they weren’t being 100% truthful with me.

And here’s the deal…

Honestly, God does not really care about how we got in this position.

What He cares about is that, A: You’re coming to Him to solve it.

And B: You’re not going to do whatever it was that you did, again.

So I make it clear to people that I need to know what it is that got them in this position. In essence, be real with me because we’re going to get it all on the table and there’s not going to be any judgment here.

That’s not what God does.

We are going to solve it with real solutions that you are going to solve it with.

Not Crystal Martin.

Not the Salvation Army.

You.

And you’re going to ask God to help you with that.

And He’s going to.

But you still have to put one foot in front of the other.

Two hundred-fifty families last year, aside from Christmas, came to me needing help throughout the year with various things.

This year I’m going to start doing, God-willing, a food distribution for the county every month. There is already an organization in Ark City that is doing that, so I’m going to set my dates and times exactly as theirs so that we don’t have doubling of resources. All of our resources come from the same place since it’s such a small community.

We have to make sure that every single person that needs us can get help.

And that is the biggest challenge, even though I know God is going to provide. It’s still like there is always going to be…it feels like in my heart, there is more need than I can even meet every single month.

And that’s the part where I become very frustrated, even though God is showing His face in so many different ways.

In a magnitude of different ways.

There really are plenty of resources, it’s just a matter of getting people to acknowledge that the need is actually there.

I grew up in Winfield and I can’t even tell you how many of my friends have said to me, “Man, I didn’t know we even had a homeless problem in Winfield.”

Truthfully, I didn’t even know that.

And yet I was in business there.

I grew up there.

I didn’t know we even had one homeless person, let alone six.

We don’t have homeless shelters down in Cowley County.

So it’s all of us pulling together our resources and we get a couple of nights covered…but then what happens after a couple of nights?

You know what I mean?

It’s a heavy burden to know.

If I was unable to give it all over to God and know…to know that I know that I know, that He has to have a reason...

I know that because He had a reason in my life, so He’s got to have a reason in their life.

And that is the only way that I can make it through what I do every day without coming home and just bawling my eyes out.

You know?

The first six months that I was with the Salvation Army it was a nightmare.

Every day I would come home and I would just be like, ‘These people are going to have this problem and this problem and then they’re going to have all of these things come down on them, and they’ve got children in the household and this is due….’

So it probably took me about six months before God finally said, “Hey this is mine. You are a vessel.”

And when I finally really caught onto that…that I am just the vessel, nothing else…that was when I was able to let it go.

At that point.

And then cool stuff started happening.

Really cool stuff started happening.

If we get in the way of what God can do, then we are only able to achieve what we can achieve.

Which hey, some of us are pretty darn awesome. (laughs)

But if we step out and we let God do it, that’s when you see the big stuff.

Huge stuff.

Things you can’t even fathom in your head.

You’re just working away doing the things that He tells you to do and all of a sudden you look back and an entire U-Haul sized truck is filled with toys and food…that’s when it happens.

It’s cool.

It’s really cool.

It was really profound to me when I took on the Salvation Army position. I knew that it was what I was called to do but also it was like…

Okay I am not a minister.

I have absolutely no desire to be a minister.

I am counseling with people.

I’m not a counselor.

There are resources for that.

But we are praying together. We’re crying together.

And I’ve said it before but I do not feel qualified for this job. But here I am in this social service setting and we want to help people. I’ve never been in social services before this.

I was an insurance agent for goodness sake.

Really?

You know?

Somebody said to me…and it really, really caught me when you said something along the same lines of…”I’m not a journalist, I don’t write stuff…”

But God does not call the qualified.

God qualifies you and me.

And that’s kind of cool.

So over the course of the last year and four months, was I qualified when I started?

Heck no.

I didn’t know what I was doing.

Not a clue.

Had I ever raised any funds, ever?

Nope.

Well I guess I was a Girl Scout once… (laughs)

So I knew that I was not qualified for this position. I mean there were some things that made me qualified, sure.

Marketing.

I’m a great speaker.

Personable.

I make friends easily.

Okay, so I can see that maybe I was a little qualified…

But just like you with this, He is qualifying you along the way.

Every single step.

You’ll be able to look back a year from now, six months from now and go…wow.

Just like now.

I’m almost a year and a half into it and I’m realizing that He was qualifying me back when I was twelve.

You know what I’m saying?

You just don’t see it until He reveals it to you, and it can be so frustrating. I want to be in the know. (laughs)

And you know how I was saying earlier that I was kind of turned off by church because of what I felt was so legalistic?

Well doing this every single day, I realize how vital that information that I received when I was younger was, when I was learning…when I was learning the Word, memorizing Scripture.

Begrudgingly memorizing the Scriptures…

But now it has being pulled to the front.

So while I went through that adolescent and into early adulthood stage, where I was like putting the brakes on…now that I’m older and I have teenagers, I can really see the value of going to church and sitting in that pew.

Because there will come a day when you face the challenges.

And you can’t look and listen for God when you don’t know what you’re looking and listening for.

Right?

That $6.26 would have been just $6.26.

And it made me stop and think, ‘How many six dollars and twenty-six cents’ have I missed?’

So in that regard to my kids it’s like, “Okay, you’ve got to go to Sunday school.” (laughs)

And trying to explain that to teenagers…

“Mom, it’s always the same thing…”

“It’s the only day I can sleep in…”

(laughs)”

Part 2 of 2.

**Special Note: Two months after this story was recorded, the Salvation Army in Cowley County had to eliminate Crystal’s position due to lack of funding. There is a great need in the community that calls for people like you and I to step up and help with. Additionally, Crystal is still actively seeking full-time employment in a marketing position, preferably with a non-profit. Ideally, with a Christian-based organization. Please contact the site editor if you can help. Thank you.**

© 2017 by One Million Miracles. All Rights Reserved.

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“My name is Crystal, and I live in Winfield, Kansas.

In the midst of serving the needy, I AM Miracle Story #19.”